I often hear from people that what I publish, be it on Facebook or on my blog, isn’t personal enough. They are more like advertisements, designed to evoke laughter and/or thoughts.
I am sitting in front of you now, on the other end of your screen, baring my soul enough for you to realize why.
Before we begin, you need to realize something. I am a human being, just like you. I have my own strengths and weaknesses. Just like you, I like having people around me who love me. Just like you, I like to go out of my way to help a friend out. Just like you, I love being nice and receiving niceties. Just like you, I cannot bear a grudge against anyone for a long time.
I have been on the receiving end of many betrayals from friends I loved with love intense. It was naïve of me to believe that people can succeed without letting ambition getting the better of inter-personal relationships. I was never jealous when Tamoghna scored more than me in ICSE, nor was I dejected when Souryadeep won a Best Speaker prize and I came third. I didn’t even think to myself, “Okay, next time I will show them who the boss is.”
I just felt happy that my friend has done well.
Everyone grows up, and so did I. Slowly I started seeing through all the intricate webs of euphoria created around me to keep me aloof while jealous hammers kept striking at the base. When I realized what was being said about me by some particular individuals, popular in their own respect, more than angry, I was sad. In Bengali, the word is “obhimaan”.
Never trust a person who speaks ill about others in front of you. That same person will speak ill about you in front of others.
How will you identify such a person?
He will be a talkative person. He will start entertaining you at the cost of others. Most of his stories demeaning anyone he chooses will be exaggerated rumours or concocted on spot. He might make you feel special, and people love temporary spells of happy delusion (the reason why they drink), but beware the hangover. It will leave you torn apart.
Temporary spells of happy delusion. This is what the world runs on. This is the reason why, the day before your exam, you play a game of FIFA. You score goals you can never score with players you can never meet just to enjoy that temporary spell of delusion. This is the reason you drink, the reason you smoke, the reason you decide to “chill” when you know you’d be better off studying.
Having told you of the bad sorts of people I have come across, it would be totally unfair to not mention some of the better people who convince me that there are still people who know how to love.
Bibek Guha Sarkar.
I remember the Students’ Council elections (called the USO at my school) last year. I was highly ambitious. So, when I was not selected for the post, I was sorely disappointed. Bibek was up the previous night studying for a test. Yet, just to cheer me up, he accompanied me after school and engaged me the entire evening.
He was the other guy with Bibek and me, keeping me company. Ritam has been this constant source of support for me. When Basak and I formed the debate club, he used to attend all the sessions, take attendance and keep records, all while sacrificing his study hours. A few days before an entrance exam, he called me over to his house and explained a lot of theories of Chemistry and Physics I had little knowledge of. If I have ever seen two people who know everything about their field of study and are equally willing to share knowledge, it would be Ritam and Anirbanda.
He is the only family member who happened to me over Facebook. What I love most about him is the fact that he seldom speaks ill of colleagues, not to forget how he loves interacting and spreading smiles. He has always been there for me. Be it making me feel special in a meeting with seniors, or be it asking me for my opinions on his blogs, or gifting me this website, he has never failed me.
A person who believes in me, supports me and cares for me. A person who is ready to pick up my call at 3AM to comfort me after a terrible nightmare woke me up. A person who is equally enthusiastic about hosting a quiz at my school, though she claims,
“I was in it only for the money. :3”
Best friends since class 8. Never had a fight, except when it came to dividing pizzas. The co-creator of the Rui-Katla theory.
People at school.
Be it Baidurya, Krishnashish or Souptik, who can keep up with my quiz-time madness, or Pushpak who inspires me with his leadership skills, or Rakshit who inspires me with his attitude of contributing without expecting acccolades, or Samanta and Tamoghna who amaze me with their DontGiveADamnGottaTopExam attitude, or Arya-Sourya with their sensitiveness, or Bikramjit-Agnish-Anwesh with their traditional coolness, or juniors who have delighted me by approaching me for tips, I owe it to you all for making me the person I am.
She’s an adopted cat. Since having a pet cat is so much of a trouble, my grandparents were determined to give her away to some other cat enthusiast. I had already grown so attached to her that when I started thinking about it, I couldn’t control my tears. It was past midnight and I walked out to the verandah where Dora was sleeping. She woke herself up, and, seeing me crying, followed me back to my room. She normally hates the AC, but did not seem to mind at all. I sat cross legged on the ground, looking at her and sobbing, when she did the most wonderful thing ever. She slowly got up and curled herself into my lap.
The next day, as usual, she was ignoring me.